Have you met yourself?

How often do you meet yourself? Yes, you meeting you! Does that sound absurd? Well, maybe but think again, how often do we meet our true inner self? That inner voice, gut feeling, basic instinct, the thoughts and dreams that are buried somewhere within us.

Often people say, meditation helps in clearing out the clutter and reaching out to our inner self. I say, meditation can be of various forms. To begin with, me writing this piece is kind of a meditation too. Off late I have been reading some inspirational books, the most recent being Robin Sharma’s- Mastery manual. I would say reading this book was like meditation for me. I say this because, the book makes you go through some introspection, incremental activities to self-discovery. More than self-discovery, it is about connecting with yourself, spending time with yourself. This I feel is the key missing factor in our lives today! In this fast paced world, we rarely sit back, retrospect or introspect or spend moments in silence. I have picked up some action points from Robin’s book and some of my personal insights. As I explore and experiment in meeting my inner self, I will keep on sharing these insights. I assure you am testing these first before posting :-) 

1. Journaling

Remember, ‘Dear Diary’? Some of you may remember this from your school days, well the adult version is called ‘Journaling’ :)  A little black notebook or diary that you commit to maintain where you note down your thoughts at the beginning or end of day.

Why is this required? Well, often we hear ourselves or our folks saying- "Don’t have the time", "Just didn’t get the time". I am one of them! A journal essentially addresses this daily excuse of ours….

At the beginning of the day, if you devote peaceful 5minutes in listing down the key short tasks for the day it really helps in planning one’s day. Try it!  Remember, not an overwhelming, exhaustive list that scares you instead of bringing piece ;) , instead limit yourself to key small goals for the day. By the end of the day, fulfilling most of these goals and atleast attempting the rest, is a big accomplishment!

The second reason or objective of journaling is to capture your eureka moments! No, these are not groundbreaking earth shattering ideas, but they are ‘Your’ ideas and thoughts which makes it all the more special. These can come at anytime, its best to note them down the very moment it comes knocking your way….

The more you write, the more you de-clutter and vent, it has an extremely positive effect and also kills lethargy. It gives a sense of alertness and calms you down during the many stressful moments in your day.

2. Live in the moment

With the advent of smart phones and a hyper connected world, buzzing with notifications of all kinds from all kinds of media, this is a tough proposition! Imagine, the times we live in, am actually recommending you and motivating you for something so obvious but long forgotten!

* Have meals at the dining table, not in front of the TV

* Do not check messages during your family time. Also, when on an outing with friends, refrain from checking your smartphones. Its like a disease that we have, a creepy reflex action, we are more alert to our smartphone beeps than we are to the emotions of the person we are hanging out with!

Whatever you are doing- whether you are working, in a meeting, on a date, just be in that moment :-)

Respect the time of others, value the presence of your near and dear ones. Taking loved ones for granted is natural, we all do it unconsciously, but from now on try avoiding it consciously. Embrace the little joys and moments of life and count your blessings when you feel low.

Small steps, less sermonisation, more self-realisation will be my mantra for my upcoming blog posts....

 

#OurChoice

When I started writing this, I thought its going to be a travelogue but soon I felt and realized that what I was writing and wanting to write was about ‘more than a trip’, it was a journey which made me realise certain nuances and realities of life…..

Sometimes you are caught off guard and shown the mirror at places other than the dressing room ;)

#OurChoice

You hit your twenties, it is somewhere during ‘that’ phase of your life where you completed a degree and joined your first job. Few years pass by and slowly it starts happening…..

 Zillions of people (termed as society) appear at your doorstep and in your drawing rooms disturbing your well trained parents with the ideas of ‘marriage’. Yes I am talking about a phenomenon that the youth of my country and probably couple of other countries too face—when choosing a future path for yourself is not your business but becomes everyone else’s business and then there is the social media and part of your lovely friend circle which emulates this philosophy (I am talking about the Facebook wedding engagement declarations and albums, when you feel the entire world is getting hitched)

So recently I undertook a journey, it was more like a pilgrimage to Glasgow. We were all set to attend my sister’s convocation for her degree- FRCS. Very briefly speaking it is a hard earned, reputed degree in the world of Doctors :-) The news of this degree gave immense joy to my parents in October 2014 and ever since that time, this journey was on the cards!

Well this is not a travelogue so do not expect details of what I saw and did… What I am immensely proud of and what I wanted to share is this: The fact that my parents and sister chose higher education over marriage at a time and in an environment where it was not what was expected (owing to the majority who took the opposite steps). My sister is 30 and she got an FRCS before a mangalsutra! That’s cool in my philosophy and I feel super proud.

This post is about ‘raising children particularly girls to be independent’

Let me make it clear, 'Independent' does not mean being against early marriage or timely marriage as some may call it. It means encouraging our women to contribute more to the society.

I highly recommend everyone to read ‘Lean In’ by Sherryl Sandberg. It says ”A truly equal world would be one where women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes.”

What she is saying is that: So many women have not even started realising their value and share in this world! Once they also start contributing, imagine how prosperous we will be! Sadly the professional drop out rate is very high in our country. Some don't last beyond their bachelors’, couple of them who go on to pursue masters’, work for sometime & then leave everything for domestic bliss! We must encourage more and more women for a) higher studies and b) to work !!

Don’t give away to laziness, have dreams and let domestic life be part of it but not the entire dream.

As I made this journey to my sisters convocation I felt enlightened, aware, I felt the true meaning of this term-liberation

The joy of freedom, individuality, perspective and independence.

It feels amazing to be a woman, let’s celebrate it, let’s know our worth and demand it in society; and we will receive respect, when we first give ourselves the same!

I know we still have to fight a lot of social evils, but this is a weapon, YES education is one such weapon to fight against and ultimately defeat these demons.

Let’s embrace, imbibe and internalize it in our societies

My ladies (who stand at similar crossroads), I ask you- Are you taking the next step/decision in your life (be it in whatever sphere) because you want to? Or because someone is telling you to? Remember age is just a number, do not categorise decisions or phases in your life based on these numbers!!

Let’s take that step towards a career or education goal, let's not worry about what your boyfriend says or society says or what ‘they’ would think! (Still perplexed with who exactly ‘they’ are)

Let’s do this for ourselves and of course like I said before, this does not mean that we forget to find a soulmate for ourselves. All I am saying is that this time let’s not ‘settle down’ but set out together by making our partners equal partners and fulfill each other’s dreams ….

Ms Naina Lal Kidwai,  HSBC exec and Harvard Business School's first Indian female grad once said "Behind every successful woman is a very supportive husband". My dream for the future India is in line with this, raising our girls to be independent and raising our boys to be sound, considerate, sensitive, understanding and supportive husbands :)

P.S. Some relative commented at my dad’s demise in January that “Oh he could not see his daughter’s marriage” I could only reply back with a memory, I told her how I remember the joy, excitement, proud glint in my father's eyes when he got to know about the results and let me tell you it was way more than the one I observed when my sister’s marriage got fixed. So I told that relative “not to worry, he is fine, he went happy and proud”.

NEXT POST: Inheritance of Loss.....

Why 2012 was my year...........

Coming Soon..........
Watch out for this space :-)

Letter to Justice Verma Committee

After the recent Delhi Gang Rape incident, we witnessed a National uprising and Global awakening on issues of Women Safety.

Justice Verma Committee recently invited suggestions from the general public on 'Measures to make the city safe'. Here is what I submitted..................

Respected Justice Verma Committee,

SUBJECT: Suggestions as a law abiding civil society member

Dear Ma’am/Sir,

I don’t have a law background but am a law abiding citizen of this country and as a woman I think I am in a good enough position to propose some meaningful and practical solutions to your committee. We are really banking on you to MAKE SURE that the voice of civil society is not ignored this time. So a big Thank you in advance for taking up this task.

Let me begin by saying that for any problem, the solution is not one-sided, Infact it is multi-dimensional and holistic. So, the system in entirety needs to be reformed!

1) SPEEDY JUSTICE AND STRICT PUNISHMENT

Sentences for All RAPE cases must be pronounced within 6 months of the incident. Now it is upto the court to calculate and decide how many Fast track courts they need to establish! We want speedy trial and STRICT PUNISHMENT. The minimum sentence period should be 20 years and RAPE CULPRITS are CULPRITS, their AGE is no consideration. Whether juveniles or adults imprisonment for 20yrs is a must! All rape cases are ‘Rarest of rare’ cases for the victim and their families. There should be no differentiation and discrimination. Till this country does not enforce STRICT Punishment, nothing will change. And let us not bring ‘Reforming the criminals’ topic into the arena of a Heinous crime like RAPE. Spare these cases from petty punishments and SET an example in all cases by pronouncing the most strict punishment possible. 

2) GENDER SENSITISATION + LEGAL EDUCATION courses in schools

Some may question the impact or real output of Gender sensitisation classes at school level. But I feel it should still be introduced, because such interventions work in the long term to produce the desired outcomes.

This should be accompanied with gender sensitisation of trainers as well! i.e. ‘Training of trainers’. Those who would be imparting the subject, should themselves first be sensitised to ensure that the treatment of course is serious and that they are truly dedicated towards the basic premise or soul behind this course. Treating it as just another subject or not applying suitable pedagogy won’t serve the purpose. It should be included in the UGC course for teachers (within .NET and B.Ed training).

Also, along with this subject, a module on ‘Legal education’ is very important. Knowledge about one’s basic rights and punishments for criminal offences should be imparted to the general public. We should start by introducing it in schools. Law as a subject is currently treated like a highly specialised, college level course. Introducing legal education at all spheres of general public should follow next.

3) In order to make a city safe, it is essential to establish and maintain an efficient and safe public transport system. Auto rickshaws and buses must display their number plate, Name of the driver and owner, mobile number and other details INSIDE the bus! Clearly and legibly so that passengers can note this information. A database on all the public transport DRIVERS should be maintained by a suitable authority. Licenses should be granted based on a Character Certificate. The State must have all the details of operators and Drivers of these vehicles AT ALL TIMES.

4) Mass recruitment of women in the police force and giving special powers and positions to them for women safety is the need of the hour. Besides this, HOLISTIC training of all men constables (since they form the majority of police force) should be introduced. Besides physical training this should include basic legal education, gender sensitisation, Behavioural response and training on manner of treatment of sensitive cases related to women safety, Training on ethics, etiquettes and communication skill impartment.

5) Introducing self defence classes and encouraging fitness classes in all cities is a plausible solution. As a nation we must encourage and build a Sports tradition. While many private tutors and organisations exist in the sector of ‘Fitness and Health’, basic infrastructure (Stadiums, open spaces, equipments, and monetary support) is MISSING. Encouraging martial arts training, self defence training and basic physical fitness through sports will go a long way in making both men and women independent and secure in terms of the safety.

6) PCR vans- REFORMS required

PCR vans were introduced with the principle of making the city safe. These ‘mobile safety wagons’ were supposed to bring down crime levels. They were meant to make us feel safe and secure and also enable speedy disposal of complaints against crime.

Now the time of reforms has come. We must investigate and analyse, what real impact have they got in this city? Have they really helped in bringing down the crime? Do they respond well? Are they vigilant enough. Recent exposes by media and general observations of citizens have revealed that their presence makes no difference and acts as no deterrent to criminals.

In my own colony in Jasola, New Delhi, these PCR vans roam around for collecting ‘Hafta’ from the market and street vendors. They also take bribes from plot owners who are constructing their homes in this new colony for stuff like: Use of Borewell, as a ‘tradition’ each time when a roof is laid during the construction of a building. It is appalling to see them so dedicated and active in making rounds for these ‘UNSCONSTITUTIONAL’ and ‘ILLEGAL’ activities and not for our SAFETY.

I suggest their patrolling charts should be prepared and made public in all localities. Whenever they patrol they should periodically use their siren (in many cases crime has been averted out of fear in the criminal when he hears a siren).

7) Sensitivity in registering an FIR or recording a complaint for RAPE/MOLESTATION/STALKING/EVE-TEASING     

Women should have a Right to give a statement in presence of a Woman police officer PRIVATELY! Police should be penalised for not following what is already there in our laws. According to law, a women rape victim can demand a private meeting in a comfortable environment (in home with her family members) with only one police officer present to record her statement. They should not be subjected to public humiliation. Moreover, many rape cases go unreported for the same reason (OUT OF THE FEAR OF recounting the horrific experience in front of NON GENDER sensitised constables and police station staff!)

8) Use of ICT

It is high time the Indian security/police force adopts and USE better technology and communication tools. Known as ICT (Information-Communication-Technology) it includes usage of various tools like GPS, Internet, Database management system, Management information system (MIS), Smart phones with special apps, cameras, BETTER patrolling vehicles etc. The government must immediately disburse funds and come up with a BUDGET for the police force, so that our police stations and personnel can be better equipped to handle crime. Email ids and Facebook accounts must be created for registering complaint and for interacting with the citizens.

9) Better living conditions & Better salaries for our police personnel

At the end, we have to accept their JOB is tough and they work round the clock for us. Least the government can do is to INCENTIVISE this JOB. Only then will more and more people will be willing to join the police force.

10) Regular public consultations by local police stations.

In our daily routine we hardly interact with our police personnel. Each local police station must get in touch with the locality’s RWA president or citizen group. He/She should then regularly interact with citizen forums from his jurisdictional area to ensure that the local citizens feel safe and communicate their concerns from time to time.

CITIZENS CAN BE THE EYES, they can report suspicious activity, unsafe areas or points that require attention and also report cases or even small incidences from time to time. An active society and police station would indeed DETER crime!

Such meeting can be organised once in a month and a nodal person should be appointed immediately.

11) BASIC INFRASTRUCTURE

Well-lit areas are important in making us feel secure. The least the government can do is, that they should install CCTVs at all corners, road junctions, market places, bus stops etc. With a DEDICATED SURVEILLANCE TEAM to monitor the movements in these areas.

Streetlights must be installed in working condition and the entire city should be lit up! Investment in SAFETY infrastructure is URGENTLY required. There is an option of solar street lights these days (they store the power during day and light up in night using the same!) This would reduce cost.

THANK YOU,

Yours Sincerely,

Rozita Singh

  

Turmoil (Part 1...)

I connected,
because she seemed 'one of my own'
I connected,
as I heard her anecdotes,
As I went deeper, I felt her pain
Sleepless nights and moist mornings
I was introduced to her on a night
and by dusk, she was my known,
I connected.


They spoke of her everywhere I went
The details of that gruesome night
eventually reached my soul.
I regretted this connect!
Her turmoils haunted me like my own!

I was not the only one who connected!
They came in huge numbers
they expressed their anger
they must have been haunted by her turmoil too.

They also came. In not so large numbers
but with a strength of authority
They tried hard to disperse us clones
Clones because we all felt the same turmoil
and we all connected!

An army against an army
They tried to break our connect
They broke many a things, but our connect was intact.


In the meanwhile,
the source of our connect was on her 11th day of battle
she was nerves of steel and bundle of iron
but when iron and steel are tempered
they give in at a set point and they too melt!

On the 12th dusk, I opened my eyes
and hers had already shut!
My first awake minute was her millionth step towards almighty.
As I looked up, she looked down
As I got up, she had long gone


.....To be continued

COP experience- Part 2: Highlights of my trip....

Here goes my personal favorite highlights of my Doha trip.


1) Momentum for change (Solar sisters and LEVA)

In the hustle bustle and crazy parallel sessions schedule of COP18, I am glad I made time for attending side events related to this initiative called 'Momentum for Change'. Launched in COP17 Durban last year. This initiative recognises and rewards key environmental initiatives (focusing on climate change mitigation and adaptation) that strives to bring change at the grassroot level. This year 9 winners were selected among thousands of entries.
The list of winners can be found here:
http://unfccc.int/secretariat/momentum_for_change/items/7159.php

My personal favorite winners were: The solar sisters and Lanka Electric Vehicle Association.

Solar Sisters is an inspiring story of how solar technology was adopted by rural women in Uganda through the principle of entrepreneurship. Watch their story here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Nymr2Nbxow0

The reason I like this initiative so much is, because two of my closest friends took up a similar initiative this year. But their target audience is urban poor. I made a short movie on their work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvZV2tXyy00&feature=youtube_gdata

The struggle and efforts behind establishing Lanka Electric Vehicle Association is also very inspiring.
This initiative has led to their national government (Sri Lanka) introducing conducive policies for electric vehicles.
I got a chance to interact with the sweet couple behind this (Mr. Dhatusena and his better half who supported him throughout his journey):

2) Knowledge cafe sessions

I was first introduced to the 'World Cafe' format of dialogue and discussions, during the Asia Pacific youth forum in Kathmandu in September. (http://www.theworldcafe.com/method.html)
Ever since, I have adopted this as an important tool for enabling discussions.
I got a chance to participate in a World Cafe style discussion (We called it Knowledge Cafe) twice during COP. One was on Mountain Day 2 event (December 3) and the other was during an Asian youth gathering (which we had pre-planned before arriving in Doha).
It is a very effective way of facilitating discussions and I recommend this method to everyone!
During the Asian youth cafe, I hosted the discussion on 'Green economy' and the results from the session are uploaded here: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B5ou-4sv4VO_RDNhMC1KT2ZzVTQ

I asked the participants: What do you know about Green economy (Listing down all the words, phrases and meanings they are aware of); If given a chance, how will you re-define green economy (According to you what all should it include?); What can youth do for green economy?

3) World Climate Summit (December 2)

I would call this the most fruitful day of my trip! Networked like crazy here (ran out of my business cards ;)) Met top climate business leaders from across the globe and discussed about green entrepreneurship with them! Also presented our declaration to everyone we met on this day. Though, this was held outside the COP venue, this side event was very prominent and had good level of participation. It is here that we met the IPCC vice chair Professor Jean Pascal, managed to pass the declaration to Christiana Figueres (UNFCCC general secretary) and H.E Minister of Energy, Qatar. As a working professional working on urban climate change adaptation, I also networked professionally on behalf of my organisation.

IPCC Vice chair with our declaration

4) Interaction with school kids through British Council (December 4)

I was selected as an International Climate Change Champion in 2009 (By British Council and TERI).
Ever since, I have been involved in several local environment initiatives and activities designated for this youth climate group. As part of this programme, I got an opportunity to interact with kids from local Qatar schools.
And what was my session on? Composting and Waste management :D (My love!)

Sareka, a fellow climate champion from Bangladesh began with an interactive session on understanding Climate Change. She used visuals and simple words to make the kids understand the 'complex' nuances of the concept of climate change. This gave a perfect backdrop and I joined in later to tell them what they can do in response to this global phenomenon. I told them about the general concept of waste and how segregating our kitchen waste (wet waste) from our dry waste (recyclable waste) can reduce the pressure on landfills and by composting at home, we can do our bit for the environment!
The kids were enthusiastic and very receptive to our session. We thoroughly enjoyed interacting with them and in the end they came up with a list of activities that they were inspired to  take up after our small session!
It was heartening to know how some of them were considering to start composting their school waste!
Wherever I go, I like speaking about composting, so this one goes down to my memory box. Thank you BC :)

5) Asian youth climate network

This is something that I am really excited about. Throughout COP18 and even before arriving in Doha, one of our agenda was to collaborate with other Asian youth delegates for sustaining meaningful activities after COP ends! It is very important to be environmentally active and committed all the year round and not only during the annual COP meeting!
With this common goal in mind, around 25-30 of us made it a point to meet regularly, share ideas and frame a strategy for continuing our association.

So while we are back to our home towns, we are still in touch and plan to regularly skype every month through a 'steering committee' comprising of 2 representatives from each country.
We pledged to disseminate our learnings and work with other young people in our countries and also with each other.

We hope (fingers crossed) to revive the Asian Youth Climate Network (haven't decided on an official name yet!) and make the under-represented Asian youth voices heard at the global platform.

I am very positive on the future of this cause and I will make sure that each one of us, is in the same boat and there is no space for politics. Only love and unity for the environment :-)

6) This blog is getting too long, I hope I don't lose you as a reader, so here goes my final sixth highlight from my trip!
During those 7 days I was constantly worrying whether I am making the most of what I have got? Whether I am utilising my time meaningfully. There were times, when even though we were youth representatives, we had to indulge in 'grown-up' tasks like speaking about our declaration responsibly and approach as many policy makers for this! We really wanted our document to be taken seriously and not like a piece of paper!
And I am more relieved than proud to say that : Yes, we did it! :D

We succeeded in what we had set out for. We gave our declaration successfully to a diverse set of people and there was a moment when we encountered few people who already knew about it through a person we might have interacted previously! And that was the most fulfilling moment for us, to know that we did our job decently! (Read our declaration here:
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B5ou-4sv4VO_b2QyckdwVy1GWFE/edit)

A lot of thought, hard work and BELIEF went into our declaration and it was received well. We learnt a lot from this entire process and I can say this with full conviction that we represented 'Responsible youth!'. We networked, enjoyed, participated, worked, partied :D and in the end, atleast satisfied our inner self (which is more important than impressing others!)


Wow I have so much to say. Ok, ending this quickly now.
Some of the other highlights were:

Desert Safari Ride (The best 'tourist' experience ever as our jeep travelled through sand dunes)

My article featured in Outreach magazine article (The official daily magazine: http://www.stakeholderforum.org/sf/outreach/index.php/component/content/article/163-cop18day9-cities/1257-improving-urban-governance-through-ict-a-game-changer-for-climate-change-adaptation)
Met Composting people- A session by ISWA and other passionate composting people

Met Lord Nicholas Stern (again thanks to British Council!)

My flight back home was equally eventful, as I sat next to Erik Curren, author of 'Buddha's not smiling!' and had a non-stop 3 hour long conversation with him! It was the best ever conversation I had with a stranger whom I connected with instantly! (Check out: www.transitionvoice.com)

Doha you will be missed....will relive those 7 days through the pictures and through my new friends :-)
(Phew! So glad I wrote this in 2012 itself! :p) 

I was there. But what did it mean to me? The experience of my first COP attendance- Part 1

The green sheep of the family made it to THE top environment conference (as the world sees it).

So, yes I made it to my first COP. The 18th meeting of parties to Kyoto Protocol (almost the entire world).
It was a big achievement personally and it happened because I participated in the 'Asia Pacific Youth Forum on green economy' held in Kathmandu this September. Read about it here: http://gradyouth.wordpress.com/

It was a 5 day long learning programme focused on understanding the concept of Green economy through lectures, field visits and knowledge sharing. It had a decent representation of 40 young participants from 13 different countries of the Asia pacific region. Collectively, we had prepared an outcome document which was to be disseminated during COP18 in Doha, Qatar. For this purpose, I along with 3 other participants were selected by the organisers.
They were: Timila Dhakwa from Nepal, Marufa Ishaque from Bangladesh and Netra Chap from Cambodia (Same order in the pic as well, From L to R)

                                            Speak about women empowerment ;) 

Our task was to shorten this document into a one page declaration which could be presented to negotiators and other stakeholders participating in this Climate Change conference.
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B5ou-4sv4VO_b2QyckdwVy1GWFE/edit (You can add your comments to it, if you want!)

So for two months we devoted few hours every week to coordinate with each other and prepared and planned out our BIG dream trip. We even collaborated with other Asian youth delegates participating in the conference. They hailed from China, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore, Myanmar, Pakistan. And this was my best decision ever! (Will come back to this later).

So the D day finally arrived and I left home with lots of excitement, happiness, positivism and luggage :p
Arrival was non-eventful, but the excitement and the eagerness to reach Qatar National Convention Centre (QNCC), the venue, was building up badly. I could not wait to get there.

When we finally reached there, the scale of the event was evident, the size of the venue is a direct indication of its importance and hype. You need a day or two just to figure out and get used to the place!
Unfortunately, we were on a tight schedule as we had already missed the first 4 days of the conference. We had to make use of every minute there (This was on our minds always!).

But wherever you go, the company, the sweet caring people around you just make your day. So, I had the privilege of being in such company and a friend of ours showed us the place and made us really comfortable and prepared (Thank you Wilson!)

We had planned some of our days and had registered for some side events in advance.

I can go on and on, recounting every minute of my experience there, but this would become a really long long post :) So, I will describe only the highlights of my trip.
There is a tendency in us to do everything, be everywhere but the first learning from COP is that, quantity does not matter. So its not about the number of sessions you attend, its about living in and learning from, each of those sessions. And of course the people you meet, play an important role in shaping your experience. Its the only way you can make your stay meaningful and journey memorable!

So, my next post would be on my personal top 7 moments from COP18.

:-)

Wait for it......